View Single Post
Old 08-26-2012, 08:48 PM   #27
Kevin Leavitt
Kevin Leavitt's Avatar
Dojo: Team Combat USA
Location: Olympia, Washington
Join Date: Jul 2002
Posts: 4,376
Re: talking and listening

Janet Rosen wrote:

I n short I try to in a low key way identify any and all barriers to him taking the insulin as directed. Then I can get him to want to take it as directed and help him do so.
So I'm "imposing my will" by getting him to move towards the outcome I desire.
I think that when I've nailed something in the dojo it's essentially the same: I'm not muscling through or imposing a technique that I decide I want to do, I'm listening to uke enough that we can get to the same place, one that I want.
Great example. This thought comes to mind....

So do we accept the role of benevolent parent? That is, based on our skills, maturity, insights etc. Do we assess that the "other" might have less skill, knowledge, maturity, ability, responsibility...that in some cases they my be like a small child and we need to mentor and guide them to do the right things? In the case that they might cause harm to themselves or others do we step in and intervene with blunt and direct action, albeit with compassion to stop harm?

I think in many cases yes. I think that in many cases we may be in that role and need to consider that we might know what is best.

In other cases we could be dealing with an equal. That is we have a real need to try and reach common ground and find a way out that is mutual. I think these instances are probably rarer than most.

I think in some cases compromise that is completely equal is not possible and we must make a decision about what actions we are going to take.

I think that budo is about gaining the wisdom necessary to make tough choices in these situations and realize that sometimes there is no one right answer.

  Reply With Quote