When uke attacks with intention and commitment and nage responds with the same we can both have all that we want. It takes work and the willingness to be truthful but the results are good.
I think there is a clear distinction between tools and approaches used to resolve conflicts prior to it actual coming to blows...becoming a physical altercation...and those used once it has become physical. Any number of folks have taken Aikido concepts, principles, approaches, interpretations and modeled them into set that cam be used in the office, in schools, other work places, with family....any number of sitting. What happens when the conflict goes past the point of talking, then it skipped past that point, when you step into a situation you talk your way out of.....when someone is coming on to you to take you apart. When these folks are skilled and will not throw themselves out of balance, will not step back unto you are down...and maybe not even then. When someone wants something you have and are not willing to share it and you can't get agreement to share..... Sometime the choices may only be you or him..... what do you do?
All of the conflict resolution approaches are good, useful, should be trained and carried in one's toolkit. They need to be used as first choice. You need other skills as well, maybe 'old' school stuff, a look back at the training that was in place when most conflicts were more visibility physical.
To paraphrase what one of the more highly though of Aikido teachers here said years ago...."a knife is for cutting vegetables or for cutting people...you need the skills at both to make the right choice of when to use either....."
It is the same with what we are "conflicting" over here..... I am not against one or the other side....just when one says that the other is not needed........ One side saying one faction saying that some aspect of the needed training are missing and the other side saying it is not needed or we already do that......
Not sure this will ever be resolved....