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Old 08-17-2012, 08:55 AM   #43
Marc Abrams
Dojo: Aikido Arts of Shin Budo Kai/ Bedford Hills, New York
Location: New York
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 1,302
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Re: Aikiweb as a "Big Tent"

Quote:
Mary Eastland wrote: View Post
I think you are in a bit of denial, Mark. If you look back through the threads the pattern is obvious.
I am sure that you would also own up to your end of "denial" in the "pattern" that you talk about?

Quote:
Mary Eastland wrote: View Post
When someone out of that group (and there is a group) posts something that is pertinent to the topic, it is ignored. That is why it doesn't feel like a discussion. It seems like a political platform.

The only time something is responded to is when it provides a place to say: the first poster is wrong, your way is wrong and the only way, is the way the group talks about.
Is that the only pattern that you have observed, or chose to comment on?

Quote:
Mary Eastland wrote: View Post
I know it is hard to see something when I am part of it. When I hear someone I respect tell me something, I need to look at it the way they see it. Humans often can't see the forest for the trees. I don't have to change but at least I could see it from their point of view.
What makes you think that Mark, or anyone else for that matter, had not looked at things from the other person's perspective? The assumption that you make, smacks of elitism and is expressed in a manner that could be viewed by others as passive-aggressive (what Aikidoka being passive aggressive ). People can look at something from another person's perspective and still come to a variety of conclusions about the person's perspective. If a person concludes that the other person's perspective is wrong, crazy, etc. and expresses that opinion, you seem to automatically conclude that the person's perspective was not taken into account, the person was not "respected."

If we are talking about a topic that is purely abstract, then it is much easier for people to consider all ideas as having merit. If the topic is tangible in nature (aka- Aikido) then that approach is simply not realistic. people are entitled to their opinions about anything. That entitlement is not free from responsibility and reality-testing. There have been many opinion and ideas expressed on this forum that have not stood the "test-of-time" when "fleshed out in person." I believe that we gain a greater degree of respect when we can acknowledge the errors of our ways and learn from them, than we can ever gain from the "everything is good" approach. That approach is not realistic, viable or useful outside of not wanting to hurt the feelings of those whose egos are too attached to their ideas. The people that you like to attack, are typically the people who strenuously express, test and modify their ideas based upon real-life testing.

Quote:
Mary Eastland wrote: View Post
I would like to be able to share ideas and exchange experiences with everyone that is interested in Ki development.
I would qualify that to say that you seem to do so ONLY if their ideas and experiences are harmonious with what you already believe to be true.

Marc Abrams
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