For people saying they study an art of peace, and many claim to have become better at conflict solving in their personal lives, some posts here sure seem to do their best to make this discussion as hostile as possible.
Sometimes I find those that default to the "peace" and "conflict solving" theme, are those who try to defend the indefensible …
You reminded me of peace and conflict resolution but no where in my aikido training/research do I find that I/we have to accommodate those who chose NOT to listen or understand.
You have not been on an aikido mat. You do not have a recommendation to go to a traditional dojo -- in short, you are a non-entity.
You have been to Japan and bowed (?) to people. You have been on the Shotokan karate mat and bowed. What do you understand when you bowed?
FYI - bowing is about demonstrating your respect to others, to demonstrate your humility and your appreciation to those who went before you, to demonstrate a LACK OF ARROGANCE.
Towards the start of your thread, you blew away at least one well regarded sensei and his comment. So when you blew away those who have went before you (in aikido) and tried to give you earnest advice, were you thinking of "peace" and "conflict solving"?
Before I retired from work, I had a management role in which I inducted new employees. One of my advice to them was: "It's ok to make a mistake because it is a learning experience. It is even ok to make the same mistake twice as long as you learn something. But if you make the same mistake 3 times, then we start to think if there is something not right with you." So how many mistakes have you made by ignoring sound advice from those who went before you?
The martial arts world and the aikido world do not dance to your tune. Get over it. And get on the mat. You cannot learn aikido by theorising and making it an academic issue. In the process you may learn what bowing is really all about.
You initial question "which is right for (you)" is not something for which there is a black and white answer … something that many in the forum have tried to convey to you.
It's like asking "Which is the best martial art?" The answer is … "It depends". And there is not one best martial art.
Finally, someone (much more worthy than I) observed that you cannot buy the training. Sure you can sign-up, pay your membership/training fees and train on the mat, but your sensei will soon work out if you are worthy or not. Please keep this in mind when you start knocking on the doors of aikido dojo.
Good luck in your future endeavours.