So, it's been a while since I posted
Well, Good news and bad news.
The good news is that I am still interested!
The bad news is none of my plans come to work, no shadow boxing training worked nor traveling 240KM 2 days a week worked!
BUT I AM STILL INTERESTED, AIN'T THAT SOMETHING GOOD OR WHAT
So, I 've been thinking; I am a bit an aggressive character and I tend to pick fights when there is none like I am feeling unguarded all the time; insecure.
Perhaps it's how I grew up or Kung-FU wrecked my mentality for good!, It was my first sport ever when I was 12! never did any sport before it unless you count running and playing around with kids of my age a sport.
Then I went to Bodybuilding and eventually PowerLifting, it's the only sport with less demands and I do get powerful (am sure I 've said that couple of times, it just won't hurt to remind
But I understood that's not the essence of Aikido, I need to be broken down..I need to relay on something else beside my strength.
So to my main question, since I am not able to find any dojo nor start one...how do I initiate my self/mentality into Aikido.
Like be spiritually and mentally prepared so when I finally find a shred of light into Aikido training I 'd be on the right track and may be get a boost!?
I understand your situation. I think you have a great idea to do some mental and spiritual conditioning while you wait for a good opportunity to train aikido.
I have two suggestions from my own personal experience.
Yoga might be good to increase your range of motion, which is so helpful in aikido. There are yoga teachers that go well past the postures and teach the mental and spiritual side as well. Pranayama exercises work with the same breath concepts as our kokyu exercises in aikido, so that's good too. If you can find something deeper than the corner "workout" yoga class, you'll get the most benefit.
The second one is meditation. I don't think it matters what kind, but find something that suits your personality. For me, that means a very simple concentration method (like zazen), but whatever you can find that you like would be great. You will be able to find a good teacher if you look around (meditation is a LOT more commonly practiced than aikido!)
These practices help me to let go of aggression and open up my heart. I hope you find what you are looking for. It sounds like you are moving into a transition phase!