... the fact that I didn't proactively then attack them was an expression of my spirituality.
I guess I'd have to agree with you on the grounds that I can't possibly quantify or qualify what an "expression" of spirituality consists of, particularly if that's unique to you. However, it sounds as though you not initiating attacks is simply your preferred style of combat. I'm the same way. But it's not because I'm afraid to hurt someone, it's because I don't want to get in legal trouble by starting a brawl. Is that really an expression of love? I don't think so.
Overcoming an enemy with love would look different than that. It's not a reluctance to fight backed by implied violence. It's wholly separate from anything violent or confrontational. Without getting too touchy feely by reciting a bunch of spiritual gobbledygook, I'll finish by saying that love and peace come from within. You can't expect to influence your enemy and change him unless you are able to draw this out from within him.