Ellis Amdur "From the Ground Up"
Practice that and eats lots of jelly donuts. Seek to develop the soft creamy center contained therein. That "golden bridge" Osensei talked about was the moonlight reflected of the glaze on a jelly donut. Honest - he told me in a dream.
After you eat enough jelly donuts you will be heavy - practically immovable - and when you do roll it will be much easier if you are well rounded out.
Seriously, just relax and don't stress you'll be fine.