I will try those steps. I'm doing something similar but in another order i think but i will try yours.
What i do is trying to maintain the forward into my partner and at the same time push to the right without losing that forward. My forces go as an "L" (if you imagine you are watching us from the ceiling) and our connection point is where the two segments of the letter joins. By doing this i often feel a kind of "/" resultant direction where uke usually falls with his body alone.
the pressure at the connection shouldn't change. if it does then you either lost the ground path to the connection point and/or you are shearing the connection. one other thing, make the other person arm your own, i.e. the connection point is your elbow and the other person shoulder is your hand.
dan = dan harden