It's hard, this living, this life we've been given,
Locked in your soul or locked up in prison
Remember you've got to reach high to be risen
The day you let go is the day you are forgiven.
- Michael Franti, "Nobody Right, Nobody Wrong"
I thought of this song, and in particular the last line quoted, when I read this essay. The day you let go is the day you are forgiven...is the day you lose your hatred...is the day you stop clinging to old pain and free yourself to start healing...is the day that happiness -- true and lasting happiness, as it really is, not as you've imagined it should be -- can begin to come to you.
I'm not a big fan of aikido as metaphor for everything good in the universe. I don't think that you become a better, saner, healthier person just through doing some waza. But our souls inhabit our bodies, our minds seek and find meaning in physical metaphors. If your heart and your mind is trying to open, maybe being on the mat helps. Maybe trying to do the waza correctly, to find one's center, to open and extend your hands, can be part of a larger opening. Before we can receive, we must open our hands.
(edited to add: Nobody Right, Nobody Wrong
. It's a beautiful song, please enjoy!)