I didn't understand your first point could you elaborate?
As to the second, if one takes ukemi, then it was given as an option ( perhaps unintentionally :-) ) by the thrower. Allowing ukemi is the kind of choice I had in mind.
My point was, I'm not sure that technical ability really gets to the point where you can control a resistant attacker without injury.
If they have to take ukemi than it's not a real choice, is it? Because they require a specialized skill that most people don't possess.