Re: your number one technique
Ah, OK, never mind... I think I've figured out which hand you mean where and so on. I got your arms mixed up.
It still doesn't sound like how I was taught (the grabbing the wrist part still doesn't fit, I was taught to try to control much higher up, like elbow. As you point out, trying to grab someone's moving wrist generally doesn't work -- but even if you do manage to grab it it doesn't give you much control, they can still easily counter), but closer to it. At least I see what your hypothetical nage is trying to do.
For me in the dojo if uke keeps trying to counter sometimes it comes together and works, and sometimes I have to give up and try something else (and hopefully I've at least kept myself in a safe spot in the meantime).
As I said, this technique is too difficult for me for it to be something I can imagine trying to do on someone attacking me 'for real'.
I think I still learn from working on it, though.