Opher Donchin (opherdonchin) wrote:
Wow. I'm certainly going to think twice before taking uke for either Bruce or Kevin after this. I honestly feel a little threatened.
I have no idea who can and can't hurt me and what they can and can't teach me by that. All I'm telling you is that my experience is that there are a lot better ways of getting me to move than hurting me. Is that stupid on my part? Probably. Am I trying to make some sort of macho point? Certainly not. Is it possible to move me with pain? Perhaps, but it isn't the best way to go about it, again, in my very limited experience.
No threat intended. I have never deliberately punished anyone I was training with, and I've even trained with people who have made direct, explicit verbal threats to me on the mat. No amount of macho posturing or general assholery (not that that's what you were doing) would cause me to lose it in the context of practice. I think dealing with difficult people and striving to maintain training discipline in the face of emotions or motivations such as vindictiveness is an important part of training.
To me, expressing that kind of emotion via physically punishing behavior to the uke would represent a grave failure. Doing it just a little bit and trying to make it look like a legitimate part of training because you think you can get away with it, a cowardly grave failure. To me, that kind of behavior is an unthinkable violation of the spirit of practice and the dojo as a space and what it means to me. When I hear people proudly talking about doing such things, it gives me a sort of sickening sinking feeling. Hence, I don't appreciate being associated with Bruce.
I would first try to deal with the situation via verbal communication and within the confines of proper dojo ettiquite, refusing to continue training with the person if it came to that. If someone did something so heinous to me that I could not settle my desire for retribution internally, I would try to get off dojo property before settling it, or I would at least abandon the pretense of practicing, push them off the mat and just freaking wail on them without restraint. It's hard for me to imagine what someone could plausibly do in a practice context that would cause me to lose it like that. I value my continuing good relations with the dojo and living outside the confines of the prison system too much.