As psychologists, we come to the table with a different set of education than many. We both know that the concept of "unconditional" *anything* is simply an oxymoron. Any basic reading in the psychology of learning can help shed some light on how we look at things. We can no more detach ourselves from the contingencies inherent with interacting in our world, than we can detach ourselves from our fundamental "telic" nature (this term comes from Joseph Rychlak and it points out that we are inherently wired to seek for and ascribe meanings to events and interactions- be them internal, external, or a combination thereof). The other thing that many people get stuck on is that they view emotions as somehow detached from experiences, rather than viewing them as one way in which humans (and other animals) respond to events and interactions. I like how you also brought in the dualistic, existential paradigms as well!
We can try and explain these things to people and some people will look to educate themselves. Others, will remain stuck within their flowery and unrealistic " new-age philosophies" (soft, lazy thinking at it's worst...). Keep up the good work!
ps- My version is that true budo is like the holiday spirit. It is always better to give than it is to receive!