I only know what I've personally found helpful in the past couple of years, YMMV...
People helping me find a more correct position and posture so that the technique is working closer to how it should so that I am less drawn to start (usually unconsciously) trying to muscle it. I.e., learning better alternatives.
Ukemi... by which I mean both falls and how to move safely when people are moving me with locks, etc.... It feels like it requires a certain kind of alert relaxation (extension?) that's not tension but is quite different from being limp either.
For me just saying to stop doing something (e.g. in this case stop muscling it) usually doesn't work so well until I already understand a better way and just need to be reminded that I'm going back to old habits.