Re: Differences between female & male practitioners
I think we are talking past each other....
The fact that men are stronger than women, on average, is a biological fact. Sorry, but it just is. Even the strongest women in the world -- elite weightlifters and powerlifters -- are not as strong as men their size.
My original point was that the stronger person has an advantage in martial situations. Every counterargument that you have made comes down to skill: if you are skillful enough, strength doesn't matter. Fine, I agree. Strength doesn't matter as much now as it did when I was a beginner. I expect it to matter less and less as I progress. But it still matters. Very few of us will ever reach a level where strength is completely irrelevant. In my experience, a lot of people make that claim who can't actually demonstrate it in practice.
As for your claim that strength-based counters "are not aikido." Who cares? If your technique didn't work, then it didn't work. You can fix your technique, or you can demonstrate through atemi or henka waza that the proposed counter was a bad idea. But if you can't do either of those things, that's your problem, not uke's. IMO, people are far too ready to blame "bad ukemi" for their own mediocrity.