ever since I passed my yudansha exam, Sensei has asked me to teach some of the classes and that made me unable to train as hard as I wanted to. and it's been almost six months since Sensei started asking me to teach the classes..
I'm really tired of teaching beginners in my current dojo. I had to hold back when doing a technique with them, thus I don't get the exercise I came to train for (they can't do a decent ukemi because my dojo focuses more on teaching them how to be a nage, instead of uke). I don't get to improve my timing because I have to stop in each movements to show them to the students..
I just love the feeling when I can do a technique with correct timing and flow. I've actually been having a bad mood if I couldn't spend 2 hours throwing and getting thrown at least every other day. maybe it's the endorphine or something.. I also want to be able to train as hard as I can when I still have the energy and time for it, instead of wasting my time teaching people who don't even really have the passion for aikido. they said that they want to exercise. but instead of training hard, most of them just chat on the mat. it really pisses me off and make me want to leave them and pair up with other senior students who I can apply my real aikido to and have the desire to learn and train hard..
english is not my first language so I can't describe my feelings very well but I hope that you get how irritated I'm feeling. I'm actually considering taking up capoeira and taekwondo to get the exercise I wanted that Aikido can't provide me.
I believe that some of you have had this kind of feeling/experience before so I'd really like to hear how you handled it..
Dear Mr Santana,
If your sensei is asking you to take every class every day I could say you a some justification to be upset.On the other hand if you are only teaching one /two classes a week whats the problem?I think you come across to me as somewhat self centred./selfish.By that I mean you are thinking about you.
If you had not been taught by someone , who spent time /energy with you , you would not be a dan grade,?Why not use your time spent with these beginners to polish your own art do you think because you now have first dan you are a good aikidoka? Teaching allows one to contribute something back to others.All you appear to be is resentful of beginners. If the beginners are lazy , as the teacher you do something about it . Wake them up !! The beginners are necessary in a dojo -they are the future.You should feel honoured that your instructor thinks you are capable of teaching them.
Your attitude is not helping the members.Who would want a teacher who is not interested /lacks patience /clearly is bored to tears and cannot be bothered. My advice either alter you mindset , or have the guts to tell you instructor you do not want to teach.As it is if I was in your class with you as my instructor[thankfully I am not] I would ditch you as fast as possible., What Aikido needs most of all are competent teachers who are compassionate /skilled/patient and care about their members.
In my book you do not exemplify these virtues.Do your teacher and your students a favour.Change your perspective/stop teaching or leave and take up something else. To my mind you have learnt a few waza , but little about Aikido. Cheers, Joe.