Just the opposite. I didn't grab her neck hard. I put my hand on it but barely squeezed on purpose. I came no where close to my normal practice. She now moved during the technique because she knew that was expected of her rather than me making her move. I am also a black belt.
This is something that we can't judge because we aren't there and we can't feel it. Sometimes people grab too hard without realizing it and without trying to. Some people have strong reactions to actually being thrown. Believe it or not, some people get to black belt without ever being genuinely thrown, and it is a real shock to them to have their balance taken. Anyway, we can't know which one it was, so there is no point being critical one way or the other.