(I should have post my first post here!!) didn't know about this anonymous forum!! :P
I know how you feel. Because I'm in a similar situation, but a lot better because the dojo I train in has female black belts and female instructors. Most people are very nice and respectful to me. I'm small and new, and weak. I don't get called for ukemi very often by some teachers. But I don't really care about this, because I would rather sit and watch the techniques being shown.
It seems to me that you're not happy about this aikido training, or at least you don't feel respected while doing it. I'd like to know what your boyfriend says about this situation. And are you considering quitting? I just feel like we should not waste our money and time on something that makes us unhappy. But, maybe no pain no gain. I don't know. I'm confused too. I'm thinking about quitting myself.....Sorry, couldn't help. But just want to let you know, you're not alone.