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Old 02-15-2012, 01:18 PM   #49
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Anonymous User
Re: HELP! I'm being bullied in the dojo!

Walter Martindale wrote: View Post
As Hanna comments (above), "he" should probably be asking the sensei why he can't make you move.. If he doesn't, and tries to muddle through, when and if he does figure it out the learning will be more complete (from having figured it out rather than being told how to fix it).

I recall a situation at a Kawahara seminar. I was practicing with a VERY SOLID person who, like me, was wearing a white belt. We were doing an exercise from kata-te-dori and I couldn't budge the guy. Shihan walked by, I told him I was struggling, (In Japanese I said something like 'he's very strong and I am finding it very difficult to move him"). Sensei watched, changed the direction of my hips, problem solved. (yes, he was solid - I'm 5'10.5" and over 95 kg/210 lb, and he made me feel small - hands like cast-iron fry pans)..

I've found that a lot of sensei and shihan will wander around during the training and watch. Kawahara used to walk around and shake his head. One reason he'd shake his head was the "I showed them a, and they're still doing b, not even looking like they're trying to do a." syndrome you see with a lot of us black belts at seminars. He (and probably many shihan) seemed to like it when people asked for help, but he would only rarely interrupt. I think asking for help indicated to him that you wanted to improve, more than just going through the motions.

So - your partner "the guy" should ask. If he won't, try "I'm not trying to stop you but I can't tell why you're having trouble because I'm too new - can you ask sensei and maybe he'll help get through the frustration?" or something like that?
Thanks for the help! I agree that he should ask, but my sensei does tell us to help each other learn and to give each other feedback when something's not working, so I kind of feel like I'm not out of line since the sensei has said that it's okay. He also keeps telling everyone that it's not me, it's them, but I don't know if that helps or just harbors more ill feelings...
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