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Old 02-15-2012, 04:28 AM   #44
Hanna B
Location: Stockholm, Sweden
Join Date: Dec 2001
Posts: 647
Sweden
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Re: HELP! I'm being bullied in the dojo!

Different dojos have different standards for appropriate levels of resistance, how it should be applied, when and why. So it's kind of difficult for outsiders to judge, but...

He has problems taking you down.
And you are deliberately making it difficult for him.
And then you complain he doesn't like you, and isn't behaving nicely towards you.

Do you think the black belts in your dojo resist your technique with all their might - or do they adjust how much resistance they give you? My guess would be the second.

If you want to help him - we should all help each other in the dojo, right? perhaps you should adjust to "just about right" level of resistance? I mean... just standing there, with an uke I can't move, doesn't teach me anything. Right level or resistance means I have a chance to perform the technique, so I can feel the differences when I do things differently.

Perhaps you could try concentrating on actually helping him with his techniques and see what happens. But don't tell him what do do... that doesn't work with people who already are angry with you. Do it without words. That's an interesting exercise, and a difficult one. When performed well, it is IMNSHO the ultimate way of helping others with their techniques because it doesn't have the same implication of "I'm superior to you, I'm telling you what to do" - and if lower rank/less experience, that's probably the only approach available. If you are talented, which I suppose from your description that you are, you should pick it up somewhat swiftly at least if you have role models. So check if the advanced people in your dojo does any of this, and see if you can imitate the method.
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