One fella said his kotegaeshi was like someone laying a pallet of bricks on your hand. He just did it very gently... All those present who had the opportunity to experience it directly from Tohei agreed. They said they didn't feel like he was "forcing" them, but they were going down and nothing was going to stop it. So the power was undeniably there, but... being applied somehow very differently.
I always thought that was a great way to explain how it felt.
In those days we were taught to apply kotegaeshi without turning the wrist to the outside...which requires that the uke take a hard fall over the arm.....rather hand was wrapped into the wrist on the thumb side and slightly to the outside....and a drop and down. I have gone back to this as it is to me much more effective and causes not direct injury to the uke while getting them on the mat. You destabilize them, drop (slight) and imbalance...they are on the mat without an opportunity to recover.....the connection is through the wrist..elbow..shoulder and center.