Hi Greg, I don't know who you are but what you do is what I do so I understand what you mean.
Gee, Dave, sounds like you don't know if you are coming or are going
IMO, nage needs to attack the attack and take
uke's center while keeping their own - in essence, they become the attacker and stay that way until they decide to stop the exchange - uke has no say in it while their center is not theirs. Sounds pretty simple and logical - but not all that easy; first, nage needs to learn how to control their own center before they can go off in search of other centers to control - I think someone once said that aiki starts at home, etc