i think the problem with aikido (ok, one of the many problems) is the training paradigm of nage-uke setup. the nake/uke setup dictates a winner/loser scenario whether we want to admit it or not. it creates a subconscious idea of struggle and resolution. if you want to mess up the mind of aikido folks, ask nage to initiate the attack and finish uke off with an aikido technique. just that alone would messing up folks at most aikido dojos....
so if you look at the taiji push-hand paradigm (taiji has its own problems too), there is no nage or uke. both person started out as equal and proceed to see which one can exploit the other person's weaknesses (mine are foods and women, not necessary in that order), then learn how to deal with the weaknesses, so both person ended up learning through the process..
I have every now and then done some push-hand style aikido w/ like minded folks - starting from a neutral and no defined uke/nage role, each looking for an opening/chance to take kuzushi. Requires people to be able to stay very focussed, relaxed and connected or it just devolves into a shoving match - which is a very good reality test in and of itself.