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Old 01-19-2012, 11:25 AM   #4
mathewjgano's Avatar
Dojo: Tsubaki Kannagara Jinja Aikidojo; Himeji Shodokan Dojo
Location: Renton
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 2,225
Re: Yurusu, An Aiki Perspective

Thank you, Takahashi sensei! Such a very good reminder in a number of ways for me. Forgiving can be so hard to do, both in dealing with others and with ourselves. Our emotions can have such a visceral compulsion attached to them that it can be hard to move in a different direction than they "want." It takes a fair bit of training/practice to be able to consistently handle our own emotions in order to forgive ourselves and others; to look past the problem and see the solution.
People often seem to think that if they're not behaving according to their emotions, they're being untrue to themselves somehow. "That's just how I feel" is something I've heard a lot as if it were a rational reason for their "side" of the story, or as if it were unavoidable. But it is avoidable, even if difficult. Over time our actions shape our neurological system, so with practice we can learn to change into the people we want to be (e.g. not flying off the handle; being more magnanimous; what have you).
I don't know how much it applies to other people, but I have always noticed my ability to handle interpersonal problems goes way up when I am happy with myself. I simply do not get flustered by others when I feel secure in myself. The last several years has been a process of learning how to forgive myself for certain mistakes...and I notice as I make progress within myself, my acquired misanthropy dwindles; the things that tend to bother me, do so less and less...and it's refreshing to experience; it's a misogi.

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