Throwing should not be percieved as an attack or a defense by nage.
In my own personal experience, I have found there's a pitfall on both sides of the narrow way.
If we fixate on attack and defense, or winning and losing, then we perpetuate the separation from the moment. Divided, it is more difficult to act coherently.
But if we do arrive at a moment of oneness, it is easy to think that such things as attack and defense no longer pertain. Yet they do, even within oneness.
It seems to me that the difference comes when we are able to operate as one, recognizing and encapsulating the manifest nature of things within the one -- as opposed to working only in the world of division and strife.
I've occasionally told my students, blending isn't something we do. It's something we remember. Trying to become one only emphasizes the perception that we are separate.
And I think that's a bit of the (apparent) paradox you're hinting at. If we are attacked, or if we try to throw, we may become fixated on the strife. If we ignore them or pretend they are not real, then we may suffer delusion and harm. By seeing the attack for what it truly is and joining with it, by becoming the attack itself, the attack is fulfilled.
It disappears at the moment it is realized.