I will try to clarify wehat I mean.
I enjoy Aikido because that is the form that seems to agree with me. But I do not get internal power from practicing Aikido form, that would never get me there. I realised this after practicing for fifteen years.
What was Imissing, what was lacking in this moment. My own stillness/emptiness/internal power/spiritual power. Whatever you call it does not quite make it, this is because we are oin the level of thought. the level of being is much much deeper.
The power comes from deep presence and aliveness in this moment in you. it does not come from some excercise and maybe I will fell it/get it in the future. No your back on the level of mind.
Internal power cannot function in the realm of mind though judgements labeling. its through your eternal power of presentness no more no less.
Like I said, that's all great - but not what I'm talking about. Just calling it by the same name won't make it so.