View Single Post
Old 12-10-2011, 07:07 PM   #35
Basia Halliop
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 711
Canada
Offline
Re: On being Female in an Aikido Dojo

Quote:
I'm of two minds about the advice to ignore other people and go for your own goals. On the one hand, you can't force a bigot to abandon his stupid bigotries. On the other hand, just how much aikido can you do while "ignoring other people"? Partner practice is essential, and if your dojo is full of people who won't be good partners to you, for whatever reason, you can't exactly "go for your own goals" in that situation.
That's why I said sometimes... The biggest time ignoring other people's ATTITUDES (not other people) is likely to help you, IMO, is when the problems they are posing aren't really practical, but psychological, e.g., when you start believing them, or when you feel like you want those people to admire you.

Quote:
There's also the consideration of whether it makes sense to accept such a situation and stay in it. If you're a woman living in a world where every aikido dojo is sexist, and you want to train, you might as well suck up the bullshit ripoff hypocritical twice-the-work-for-half-the-credit crap at your present dojo as anywhere else. But we don't live in such a world, and there are plenty of dojos that aren't like that. Given that that's the case, is the best advice to knuckle under and accept the situation -- or is it to ease on down the road to somewhere where you can train without that bullshit on your back?
Well sure, but she said that she had no intention of leaving and basically liked where she was. From that I took it that she wanted to stay and deal with it and that she was more venting than anything.

Quote:
Given that that's the case, is the best advice to knuckle under and accept the situation -- or is it to ease on down the road to somewhere where you can train without that bullshit on your back?
FWIW, I don't think anyone should 'knuckle under and accept the situation', though I suppose I can see how what I said would sound like that. By all means keep trying to change things, especially things that are in your way (and of course that includes changing dojos if that's what's in your way or if it serves you better) -- but know at the same time that their opinions don't matter.

Last edited by Basia Halliop : 12-10-2011 at 07:09 PM.
  Reply With Quote