I'm not sure if you are right. But let assume you are right for a second. Only experienced fighter will recognize the capacity of Nage in such situation. 99.99% the rest of attackers will fight back continuously blinded by rage. So what, you will incapacitate them without mercy? This is a kind of message you will send to the world after 30 years of aikido practice?
That is a good point!
My personal philosophy...or at least how I reconcile this is ....my "aikido" and spiritual practice, ethics, and so forth are for ME....NOT for Uke. Uke may benefit from them, but then again, if he chooses NOT to there are two possible outcomes.
1. I have the skill necessary to deal with him effectively and protect him from unnecessary harm.
2. I don't have this skill and I have to create a situation in which I can control him and it leads him to greater harm.
I constantly practice to improve myself to increase the chances for #1 to occur. I understand that I may not have that level of skill, and I FORGIVE myself for that. As long as I strive for #1...then I think it is all we can do.
I think as long as your intentions are correct then you are good to go.
I cannot really expect in all situations for Nage to "listen" to my "reason", as you know it just doesn't happen for a multitude of reasons with people hell bent on doing you harm.