Re: Honorary or Earned???
Do you feel like these two respective senseis were the types to promote people who didn't deserve it? Do you think everyone else whom you saw promoted during the time that you trained didn't deserve the rank, or just you (hint: it's very unlikely that it's just you).
I understand the desire to push oneself to a test and feel like you've done the best that you can, but it wasn't your sensei who took that option from you in either case - it was your life circumstances and your physical limitations. Maybe, if you heal up someday, you can do a 'presentation' for your rank instead of a test