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Old 09-30-2000, 12:11 AM   #100
Kestrel
Dojo: Aikido Shobukan Dojo
Location: College Park, Maryland
Join Date: Sep 2000
Posts: 15
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Wink Do you treat women differently on the mat and why??

Short answer: Yes...I'm a sexist pig. I'm trying to change

Long answer: Like many men I've been socialized into believing that women are less physically able than men..not at an intellectual level where I can do something about it, but at a gut level where my reflexes live and where it is much harder to change things.
Because of this..I tend to have a flinch reaction the first time that I go through a form with a female uke. Its not intentional and I usually recognize that I did not use enough conviction when dealing with their attack and I try to fix it. A similar thing happens when I am uke and I fail to give them a committed attack (I do this with men too sometimes..being new). I'm not arguing that this is right..I think that it isnt...it does detract from training. That being said, there are *some* women who flinch if I *do* come at them with conviction. I think that a lot of it involves adjusting yourself to your partners needs. And finally some combinations just dont work well because of psycho-dynamics. I practiced yesterday with one young lady who I was trying to take cues from (she being the more experienced one) and found myself simply becoming more and more confused by her body language. Later during the same practice, I paired with another young lady who quite authoritatively put me on my back

My request..ladies..gentlemen ..if I am not putting enough conviction into my forms..please tell me..and I will strive to correct myself. I dont do it on purpose.

Tim

"Are you *sure* this is safe?"
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