I agree with your views here. I actually feel when I see ukes flailing around when the teacher is making them fly up and down that the misiing bit a lot of times is the students being taught how to keep centered etc.
I actually teach it this way (regarding kuzushi); I explain that the aim is not to take their balance it's actually an action of restoration. Restoring the attacker back to balance and harmony.
My simplicity is this: A person attacking, being angry or upset, mad or violent, etc. is already unbalanced and your job in Aikido is to bring them back to a better condition. So for me it's restoring kuzushi. Quite the opposite of the norm.