As you say above that could also be a scenario. Have you trained like this? Have you ever had nage holding something, willing to use it, so that grabbing the wrist has more reality to it?
Quite often. Though nage isn't always holding a weapon, we teach people -- from day one -- that uke is grabbing for a reason, not just to hold nage's wrist.
The distinction between uke and nage is entirely artificial. It's useful for training purposes, but the assigned role shouldn't make much difference in a person's attitude