Re: Being overly complacent as Uke
Too bad I could not participate in this discussion earlier. I see your point and I think we actually do agree.
In the situation you describe where aite taps out early and you feel it is too early, I would hold just where aite tapped and ask to relax and see if he/she can stretch a bit further. Sometimes it already hurts, sometimes you notice aite relaxes even more and indeed can stretch more. Main point is when aite taps, you at least stop. This is a case of trust, the base on which Aikido is built.
So, in principle it does no matter why aite taps out, but when you are more advanced you can judge the call aite made and perhaps help him/her face fear/stretch. But never continue after aite taps out, it is not your call.
The level of trust you're asking for must be earned, and should never be assumed. Could not agree more Katherine!