Re: Being overly complacent as Uke
I don't think anyone here has a problem with your statement that uke shouldn't tap out of anticipation of what might happen. That is poor training practice, and among other things it prevents tori from practicing effectively.
I think what Janet and Katherine have taken issue with is that tori is expected to know the difference between a jammed toe and anticipation. It is easy to assume one when it is really the other, and as such a tap should always be respected.
IMHO, if you are having problems with someone anticipating, have a quiet word to them and obtain their consent to slowly apply the lock to a point beyond that which they find comfortable and progress your training from there.