I have very flexible shoulders and can often accept a nice long pin as a welcomed stretch. However sometimes the person is unwittingly holding my hand, albeit lightly, in such a way that my very arthritic thumb, which is having an exacerbation, is in complete agony.
I asking the person about their experience of what happened after the fact and coming to an agreement about slowly working through their comfort zone. But it is incredibly presumptious to think you can read what, how, why and how a person is tapping and overrule their judgement.
I completely agree. I have tapped out for numerous reasons including cramp in my foot, my hair getting caught, a toe getting caught in the hakama, an inexperienced tori giving me a 'chinese burn' when trying to apply the pin, the torn tendon in my left hand being at an odd angle, pressure on the bone that I broke in my right hand last year etc. etc. etc. There is no way that tori can be completely aware of everything that is going on. Uke needs to inform them by tapping, and tori needs to respect that.