Wynand van Dyk (drDalek) wrote:
I have an issue training with women, luckily its not a big one because we only have about two girls in the dojo.
The issue is not a sexual one though, I can make the seperation between sexual intimacy and aikido intimacy.
The issue is the whole 'never hurting a girl' thing that I was raised with. I sometimes catch myself going a bit easy on the girls when practicing with them and I am a bit scared that they are picking up on this and that it might hurt their feelings because they might think that I think they are unable to take the falls.
Anyone else having a case like this?
This was discussed A LOT quite some months ago. Since then I have been wondering wether I 'go easy' on women or not. At first I thought I did, but then I realised, that yes I do go easy on most of the women in our dojo, but that is because they are not very advanced students and tend to be easily hurt. I act the same way with male beginners, who are not used to take ukemi and ajust their movements to the pain. It all comes down to the fact that I ajust the level of power and intencity in my techniques according to the other person. I HAVE been practicing with very competent female aikidoka and they can take just as much heat as any man on the mat.