No one goes into a fight thinking they're uke.
...Maybe it's better to avoid fighting.
true, until it isn't: will you avoid fighting when confronted with murders or kidnappers that have cornered you and your dependent love ones? Then, if you can not survive, you must resist the "evil" to leave a physical trail of evidence for the law enforcements to clue in to. Will you have avoided fighting on that Flight 93, Sept. 2011?
martial arts = self-defense = self protection = fighting, but knowing when might take wisdom before words or thoughts (Prajna Paramita): That's one of the reasons why i sit in zazen meditations. I have actively avoided fighting, but when the time calls for action to save life I hope to not hesitate, for courage is when you've had the courage to do the things before. More "practical" open-minded training is more fun and develops deeper trust and friendships
My advise to those of you who want to 'kick ass' is to "fight" in amateur MMA competitions where seeming realistic pressures are balanced with having ref', judges, medic, and no law suit or criminal charges. Merely sparring with prospective MMA players has given me priceless insight & humility.