The problem is: that moment of martial "adulthood", in a few dojos, seem to arrive... never. And this not because the pupils (or the "infants") are not ready yet, but because we have the strong impression, at times, that it is that very same goal that is not only never pursued, but even discouraged and poscribed.
This is why we are exposed to this type of accusations
I am trying to understand why we are accused of this so insistently, without extracting too many convenient excuses or justifications from my quiver (to be clear: not implying by this that you would have been doing that! I am just trying to convey what I am trying to elaborate here: seeing the part of truth in the accusation)
those that will not taste "bitterness" will never learn 'gong fu' (skillfulness) in personal-combat/martial arts.
the impressions are that aikido attracts and replicate many that cling and hone comfortable delusions on practice. it's human nature, the same reason why 96% of golfers cheat: humans have a hard time accepting truths as they are. "let it be" is far easier to be talked than walked.