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Old 09-30-2011, 08:37 AM   #74
Diana Frese
Dojo: Aikikai of S.W. Conn. (formerly)
Location: Stamford Connecticut
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 379
United_States
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Re: verbal abuse from a teacher

To round out the references, here is a story from Sensei Terry Dobson, co-author (I think Victor Miller was the other co-author) of a book that was originally titled "Giving in to Get Your Way".

The book is about daily life applications and includes uses of the concept of circle, square, triangle that has fascinated so many here on Aiki Web. However, there is another concept that plays a prominent part in the book, that of Robin Hood on the bridge. I forget whether the challenger was Friar Tuck or Little John, this book also is in family storage....

According to Terry, there are six ways of responding to a challenge and the first two are fight or flight. Then there are Parlay (negotiation) and Deception (trickery) and finally Aiki, where there is a solution that benefits both. I think I left one out, it might have been something like a delaying tactic....

But the one that came to mind here, along with something Terry said at a seminar relating to the book was, to be effective, if you are going to leave the scene of conflict, just depart. Just like that. To be effective, I'm sure he meant. And this is what the lady aikidoka has done. I'm adding this from Terry, because I just realized in a story I posted in my blog last week that happened years ago : leaving a possible confrontation over a table in a restaurant was probably an unconscious application of something learned earlier....

In a seminar taught by Terry. Both of these cases were non physical, verbal situations solved by a physical action. Leaving the scene of conflict.
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