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Old 09-30-2011, 08:23 AM   #73
Diana Frese
Dojo: Aikikai of S.W. Conn. (formerly)
Location: Stamford Connecticut
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 386
Re: verbal abuse from a teacher

Hi, I just got back on to the computer and had forgotten to sign off before my husband used it for some other programs, then turned off the computer. I noticed this thread is still current, so here's something I read years ago.

The title of the thread is verbal abuse, and here is a story about kids and spanking which although physical rather than verbal, seems to bring up a similar concept of "Why? For what purpose is the perpetrator (?) doing this?"

Spanking of kids has become illegal in many areas of the U.S. now but in a book Koichi Tohei Sensei wrote years ago, called Aikido in Daily Life back then.... that was a topic he mentioned. Unfortunately my copy is in family storage and other peoples stuff is packed in front.... But I'll do my best to recount it properly.

The concept may be helpful to anyone, although it referred to spanking, and kids.

Tohei Sensei asked if the father was spanking the kid to improve the kid. I think I remember the father admitting that was what his intention was for doing so.

But here's the fascinating part. Tohei Sensei didn't scold the father, he just asked a question. Instead of instigating the father's psychological defense mechanisms, he planted a thought and the father went home and thought about it. Evidently he figured out that spanking wasn't improving his kid's behavior after all.

Tohei Sensei reported the father never spanked the kid again.

A rather long tale, but the application here is that our anonymous lady aikidoka who has earned nidan and probably will one day get her certificate (or maybe request a duplicate? I don't know how that might work out?)

has decided for purposes of her own progress and improvement, to train at a dojo where she feels that she can. Good luck to you, anonymous lady aikidoka!
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