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Old 09-21-2011, 09:07 AM   #60
Marc Abrams
Dojo: Aikido Arts of Shin Budo Kai/ Bedford Hills, New York
Location: New York
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 1,302
United_States
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Re: verbal abuse from a teacher

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Anonymous User wrote: View Post
Where is his email listed? Do I just go through the "contact us" message thing?
Look up at the top right area and underneath your name, there will be a private message link. you can also use the "contact us".

Quote:
Anonymous User wrote: View Post
His next victim won't listen anyway. I saw how his previous deshi suffered. For some reason I thought it won't happen to me, because he appears very nice and caring in the beginning. His deshi left. I took over. Although she comes back from time to time nowadays.
I am sure that this is what the previous deshi believed. You are now pointing out that he has a pattern of grooming young women as his "deshi." This is a very disturbing pattern. I am sure that his teacher, or shihan of that organization would not be happy to hear about this pattern (I hope so).

Your silence, like that of the previous deshi, serve only to support the continuance of his behaviors. Have you ever heard the expression "If you are not part of the solution, you are part of the problem" ?

Quote:
Anonymous User wrote: View Post
My receptive teacher met him and stayed with us at one of our camps to support me during my test and all... She didn't form a very good opinion of him, but perhaps that's because I poisoned her initial thoughts.
Your receptive teacher's impressions were accurate and not poisoned. Your tendency toward coming to this person's "defense" only indicates how much psychological damage he has caused you.

Quote:
Anonymous User wrote: View Post
Yes, I've never wanted another teacher. I could only imagine myself being his student. Thank you for sharing your experience. I think, after watching some videos from another dojo, I've convinced myself that I like it better. I'm gonna check out their classes soon

Thanks everyone, again!
Your teacher preyed on your need for a father figure. Your idolization allowed you to endure things that were beyond the pale of appropriate. I would strongly suggest going to the school's counseling center to address this "father figure" issue in therapy. If it is not properly resolved, it might come back to haunt you later. A honest person makes a mistake and learns from it after acknowledging one's own role in the mistake. A fool does not acknowledge one's own role and walks "blindly" into a similar mistake. A masochist makes a career out of this type of self-destructive pattern. Your honesty is refreshing. Use it now to your benefit. Personal honesty can easily become a perishable commodity.

Good Luck,

Marc Abrams
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