I don't know why you're laughing. Michael isn't making jokes...
... But you didn't take that advice, so why are you falling back on it now? I don't think you've suddenly changed your mind and believe it will work. I think you're using this as an excuse for inaction...
..You paid $400 for some kind of "get a shodan" program? That was a mistake...
It was a bitter laugh, not an actual one.
I just recently got that advice from my teacher, and I haven't had a chance to use it. The attacks from Sensei stopped for a good year while we talked only when necessary. Recently, I made the mistake of showing my care for him again and fell into his trap. Then I messed up by criticizing his decision along with some other students. Got another awful lecture, while the other students simply got talked to in a normal tone of voice. This is why I phoned my receptive teacher and got this new piece of advice that I haven't tested.
I paid to test. It was a federation testing fee. I tested, got the rank, and am waiting for the Hombu certificate to arrive.
Meanwhile, I'll start checking out other dojos, I already emailed one of them about possible training. But I would like this topic deleted if possible. Some people might identify me. Thank you everyone who contributed. I really appreciate everyone's care and willingness to respond although I know that I'm really stubborn and hard to convince. I assure you not to worry, you guys helped me make the right decision.