...He tells me that it's because he cares for me that he is expecting more out of me than out of any other student in the dojo. He tells me that I have to believe him, and never discuss his ill decisions with other students...
...Because I want to be serious in my training, I was wandering if this verbal abuse is of any good. It really got to me during my senior year of high school and if it weren't for my school teacher who saw me change from a confident person into some miserable heap and decided to help me...
...(For example, girls who were abused by their coaches then ended up marrying older, abusive men because that's what they were used to). But, I've read a few things about uchideshi and I know they were mistreated.
Leave now! Even if your information is only halfway accurate, your sensei is displaying many signs of inappropriate controlling behavior typical of abusers. Martial arts discipline is unfortunately sometimes used as a mask to cover or a rationalization to "justify" abusive behavior. The demand for secrecy is cause for alarm.