Simon Kirk Sørensen
Contracting is fear, and the same thing which happens in your mind when you judge someone in your mind. You close the door and shut them out. It must stay open.
This is the hard part I believe. I have no fear responding to strikes with bokken, or whatever. Somehow this comes natural. I have a hard time not being judgemental to people that act stupidly, or disregard common normal behaviour.
One student once told me something that works well is to express surprise. Oh? does that really tick you off? Why? Sometimes this approach helps, but more than often my emotion beats me and I respond/react 'stupidly'....