I have read your letter with much interest.
The points you bring up are common to every dojo, I think.
For a long time I have had the feeling/the urge to grow, get a big dojo. But after a while I realised that the students you then get are not that committed. So you can have a small dojo that struggles to come by but generates (hopefully) quality and committed Aikidoka's or you have a more popular larger dojo with perhaps lower quality. Mind you, I do not imply to say that you cannot have a large dojo and
good quality, but I do think that is very hard to achieve intentionally. It is hard to be humble, stay true to the Way and still get a group of committed students.
Somewhere along the line you mention that "you choose the way to become a (great) leader". But leadership requires to inspire, motivate members. I have not read your take on this, would you care to share your view on this, how you do this?
All things said and done....
My teacher pushes me to grow. He says to practise with a lot of different people is good and you cannot ever know which student will have long term commitment. When asked how to reach the 'right' people; he lacks an answer and says your view on Aikido is completely different from theirs....this is what I struggle with to the day
Also there has been one badly attended seminar, but to organise it on Mothersday has not been the smartest thing...