But really ...choosing to abstain may not be an option when the war machine knocks on your front door ....
Likewise choosing to be submissive is not really a choice if its the only position you have eh?
Choosing to to be kind and loving ...while possessing some of that capability...now that is a choice.
Maybe this is a human problem. Act like if the only real option that we have is to show our teeth and hope that the other understand that if he came a bit more close to our bone, we'll bite him...
The problem is that the other has his own teeth too...
And sometimes, have big teeth is not enough to save you when the other thinks that maybe the bone that you protect with so great care is enough to both of you, or if they think that between them and you, the bone will be better with them.
To me, have the power and do not hurt is not to be "benevolent". Is to show the "teeth"
And show the teeth is not to have a choice, because sooner or later you will be caught off guard or outnumbered. Than, have big teeth will not help.
The point is, the need to "protect" yourself through the "strength" (or technique) is really inevitable, or there are other ways?
I think that there are other ways...