That is the problem - I still don't have that ''middle mode'' that would allow me to perform well without endangering others who are trying to overpower me. I do work with such a person and there are usually 2 results: I cannot finish or even start the technique or I have to use my force and speed to go through but that method is not safe.
my personal solution to someone "overpowering" me by holding too hard when I'm trying to do the technique, I'm still a beginner, and would they please ease up a little because I'm not able to safely work at that speed/strenght right now, And remind them again if they don't.
Since your current dojo seem to be your best option (to you) and if you are to train with the same people again and again, try to talk with them! Show them how you want the atack to be done, and with what force/speed. then over time they may be able to atleast become decent training partners for you
If your sensei says to teach/show them, then you do have the "autority" to tell them how they should do the atacks too, and not only the techniques. And keep at it till they learn how to do the atack in a way that let you both train safely. Learning to not put more force into an atack than my ukemi can safely handle is also a valuable lesson.