This means only this: when we face an opponent determined not to please us, many of us, incljuding dans, end up doing things that are not aikido.
Go figure me with my incompetence!
I am trying this type of Aikido because I don't think that it is impossibile.
I only think that our Aikido training routines (so different from the boxing ones) have never been designed to meet these situations.
Probably the apparently endemic amount of aikidokas who could not place any longer a sophisticated technique on a determined opponent, comes entirely by the fact we train within an excessively hypercontrolled routine that has stripped off the combative potential of aikido.
I am looking for the Aikido unknown, maybe, which given my incompetence is a preposterous wishful goal - I know
But that's the only
Aikido I want, the only aikido that says something to me - and too many dojos instilled in me the sensation that if I follow their routines, after 5 years I may still have learned an unusable aikido perhaps without ever knowing.
Their routines apparently are not designed for the goal of meeting a truly hostile
Thence, there I go fumbling for a training routine of mine and perfectly aware
my aikido sucks!