Re: playing with weight and a question
If you're feeling the load in your kua, wouldn't that just be the result of tension still remaining in the kua? Wouldn't you want the force/weight to just drop through your kua to your feet?
Last week we were doing kata-otoshi and I was playing with a scenario much like what you described. I would start with my arm out against uke's shoulder and then connect to their center. That being, either they would lean slightly into me or if not, I would slightly push into them. Once connected I would just sink my weight into them and towards their gate. There's a definite balancing act in putting your weight into them without committing your balance as well, but after several times doing it statically like this it became much less deliberate. When there was a little more forward force from uke then it became more of a straight drop rather than a out and down kind of thing, because they were giving me the connection.