Re: Ikeda's videos, my video, your video. Kuzushi on contact.
I don't know why I'm adding anything after George's post since I haven't managed much along these skills myself. Much like you, I think, I'm someone out to make his aikido more subtle and relaxed yet also powerful.
There's one exercise I've found even more interesting in my search for establishing contact with uke's center. Instead of having him resist, have him actively try to break the contact. I've had Harvey Konigsberg show me this in two ways. The first is with uke touching the wrist with an open palm and simply standing still unless you connect and move his center. The second is with a stronger attack but with uke letting go and striking if he senses an opening. It's an interesting twist, and one that makes muscling the technique useless.